"If Such a Thing"

I like the feel of alcohol
But not the taste.
I like the feel of living
But hate the waste.
I want to live an honest life
If such a thing exists,
But I'm tired of the ups and downs
The misunderstandings and the twists.
So what does a person have to do
To get all the things that you and you
Have ever wanted, dreamed of, that something new
That gleams gold in every eye,
All while ignoring the fact of death
And living within the lie?